Soulwax on the road On The Road With...SOULWAX We sneak onto the tourbus of the best band in Belgium! "There are three rules you must agree to if you're going to live on the tourbus," explains Soulwax's tour manager, Ton. "One: always lock the tourbus, because yesterday The Wannadies had a guitar stolen" (ooh, nasty...); "two: no solids in the toilet" (err...also nasty); "and three: you sleep with your legs facing the driver, so if we crash you don't break your neck." Thank you, Ton... Welcome to life on the road with Soulwax. Crime-busting, leg-crossing, death-defying ROCK AND ROLL. Soulwax, Belgium's finest export since Stella Artois, are touring with The Wannadies in search of a slice of British hospitality. With their guitar/breakbeat noise mayhem still ringing in our ears following their show at Norwich Waterfront, we venture onto the tourbus expecting scenes of Spinal Tap-like debauchery, with amps turned up to 11, groupies galore and nose-candy for all. "Hi! We call this the 'DVD tour'!" exclaims guitarist David, proudly pointing to a rack containing more Digital Versatile Discs than your local Blockbuster. Okay... so where's the life-on-the-road excess? You know, the madness? The mayhem? "Erm, we've got karaoke," he says, smiling mischievously. Two fans knock nervously on the door to congratulate the band. "Here, have a Tango," offers the ever affable axeman. "You want one EACH?!" he exclaims, incredulous. The fans leave after the obligatory photos with the band, stickers, badges and Tangos clasped in clammy hands - and then the sonic slaughter that is karaoke begins. Singer Stephen unleashes proceedings by rocking out to 'Achy Breaky Heart', David destroys 'Livin' On A Prayer', and drummer Stephane gives some up to the (heeeyyy) 'Macarena'. 'Nuff said, there's some dodgy songs on this karaoke disc - but then, karaoke isn't supposed to be cool; you're supposed to look stupid, right? Swiftly moving on, a marathon film session follows, where a pervy Manga cartoon, recent indie classic Buffalo 66, The Beatles' Help! and the unforgettably uncomfortable Happiness just about beat the approach of unconsciousness... The following morning, after literally picking up a Volvo barring our way out of the car park, we hit the road for Leeds. Playstation replaces DVD, though Carmageddon is perhaps not the best of games to keep nerves down while hurtling down the motorway at 90 miles per hour. While on the road, Stephen and David have to record their TV show, an MTV-style programme which gets aired in Belgium and Holland. They do links for Boss Hog, Smashing Pumpkins and Beastie Boys videos, and then decide it would be a good idea if I pretended to be PSr from The Wannadies. Whether or not the TV-watching population of Belgium and Holland will be fooled has yet to be seen, but that was certainly the strangest Swedish accent ever. Those crazy Belgians! In Leeds a hotel room is procured where Stephen and David do interviews (together) and get a shower (separately). Stephen ponders the possibility of throwing a TV out of the window for the simple reason he's never done it before ("Could you guys pay the expenses?"); the venture is finally abandoned when the window won't open. Instead, they swap the leads at the back of the set so the pay-per-view TV is no longer pay-per-view. Sneaky! Later that evening, the gig is stunning. Razor guitars, breakbeats, chopped-up orchestral samples and wicked melodies all turn the crowd from foot-tapping strangers to a frothing frenzy of wannabe friends. During the show, Stephen jumps off the stage to check the sound levels. After it, he's visibly furious. The Wannadies are (allegedly) keeping Soulwax's volume down and it's affecting their performance. "You can't even hear the drums... I wanna quit the tour," he moans to Ton, and much arguing in Belgian ensues. After a few swift drinks and some breakdancing, things calm down and the tour looks set to continue. At the back of the bus, David and Stephen have set up a mini-studio where they've been recording new material and remixing songs for their DJ set. "We DJ all over Europe," explains Stephen. "Do you know anywhere good to DJ in Britain? You wanna hear some remixes?" Damn right! A swipe of the mouse and the unmistakable grind of 'Smack My Bitch Up' erupts from the speakers with Beck's 'Sexx Laws' over the top. The Beasties' 'Intergalactic' follows to the tune of Grandmaster Flash's 'The Message', and for a showstopping finale, Skee Lo's 'I Wish' fits seamlessly over Survivor's 'Eye Of The Tiger'. "Completely illegal," explains David, "but good to DJ with. You should come to our next DJ set in Belgium. We're playing in an art gallery." As the bus revs up for the overnight journey to tomorrow's venue in Liverpool, I slip into the night, safe in the knowledge that the 'DVD tour' will continue. Even if it is at a reduced volume. Supplied by Flipside magazine Words by John Pugh Pics by Shona Wong. Taken from Playlouder Click here for the original